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August 2012 Live Coaching Experience

When I started to write this I was stuck with how to best describe something in words that aren’t all superlatives. “Awesome”, “amazing”, “fantastic” all spring to mind but I wanted to talk about my experience in a way that shows just how good it was, without just saying “it's awesome bro, do it.”

….Well, quite a lot of those words tried to sneak into my review anyway…

Before the course, once I had organized it all, I still had doubts. Did I really need to do it? I mean, I had SOME success, surely I could just keep plodding along as usual, with things the way they were?
But was I actually happy with the way things were? Ah, now this was the crunch question, I wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel in control of this area of my life, and as there is no time like the present, I steadfastly ignored the wimpy-voice trying to talk me out of going on the weekend and stuck at it. Stopping myself from pulling out of the weekend was half the battle I must say. And bloody hell, am I glad I stayed on track.

Training with Nick and his colleagues was really, truly helpful. Eye-opening in many respects. The simple fact is, you can read all the literature on meeting women in the world, but if you want to change your patterns of thinking and behaviour fast, then the most effective way is to get coaching.

The weekend helped me to be comfortable in my own skin. To be unashamedly masculine. I am now far more confident with regards to approaching women – I still get nervous at times, but it’s much less of a worry, and more like excitement. I can happily hold a conversation with anyone, and if it’s a cute girl I am seeing the signals of when to escalate.
I am also more confident in other areas of my life as well. e.g Arriving at a lecture hall to teach English to 100 students doesn't phase me, when I had thought I was going to tutor a small group of 4 or 5 people. One student even asked me how I was so confident and relaxed, it was only then I realised how much I had changed.

Essentially, before the course, I was having success with women, but it was hit-and-miss, I was stressing out too much about it, I kept thinking I needed to buy more and more material – to learn more tricks and to know more stuff and only THEN would I be happy.

Going on the coaching weekend has started to strip all of that away. I am now happier with who I am, and am more confident that I can go out, talk to women and have fun. And I can escalate sexually with confidence – a REAL issue I used to have, it was great to cover this on the weekend.

The only minor criticism I had of the weekend was the part that covered day-game. An instructor was outsourced to cover this, and unfortunately he was straight out of the “community”, wanting me to employ tactics like saying to a girl “I have to buy a gift for my niece, what would you recommend”. This type of stuff I don’t like, I prefer to be direct, and I’m pretty shit at lying, especially when the lie goes on too long then I have to make more stuff up and it just becomes complicated.
Once this was fed back, Nick and I chatted about day-game. He assured me it would be covered better in the future and if I have any problems I can speak to him via the continued online and telephone coaching presence.
I can confirm that since going on the course, I've been able to ask Nick any and all questions about daygame and it is now something I really enjoy.

A big thank you to Nick and his team, your coaching was excellent and I had an awesome time in New York.

So yes, definitely worth every penny. I can’t recommend it enough. If you’re thinking about doing the course and are sitting on the fence as I was, go for it.

Since going on the course I can honestly say that all I learned has stayed with me, without fading away. There are still hiccups and obstacles I have to deal with, but I am much more confident in dealing with them now, and with Nick available for questions it really is the best support anyone could ask for.

Before I begin listing reasons why I was highly unsatisfied with the program, I must give credit where credit is due.

Nick Sparks is an incredible speaker and salesman who truly believes in his craft and stands by it 100%. I commend that as I have learned of several dating coaches in my past experience who tend to waiver or change their outlook in an effort to "revamp" their product. He means well & will be brutally honest with you about your pitfalls. Tessla Nichols is a very cute, sweet woman who will help those new to "game" rid themselves of approach anxiety, a term that this group made every effort of eradicating, changing the name rather to hesitation (perhaps to offer a different perspective). Christine is passionate about her craft as well and seems to be very in tune with her emotions and read on people. Her presence can be intimidating at first glance, especially if you have zero experience.

Which brings me to why I was unsatisfied.

When I spoke with Nick, I had made it clear that I did not consider myself inexperienced. I have learned and practiced under several "gurus" and feel a certain level of comfort with the skills I have acquired over the years. Nick assured me that this program would revolutionize my way of thinking and improve upon the level of experience I already have. He also made it clear, as virtually every coach in the community does, that if I was unsatisfied for whatever reason, I would be given a full refund. The only exception being that he would not refund the initial $500 deposit which reserves my seat in the live training. However, this could not be further from the truth.

In what little time I spent attending the program, I did not witness these revolutionary methods he spoke of. He said he could handle hesitation without forcing people, however, all I saw was him pushing us into women at the bar and practically berating me when I chose not to approach. It wasn't that I was timid or hesitant. I was made to feel uncomfortable and became upset as the night grew. He also taught methods about how to stand or how close to be when speaking with women, that I did not find at all appealing and have even practiced when I was first introduced to game (5 yrs ago), and this did not work. In other words, it was not, in my opinion, innovative by any means, but rather a rephrase of what other coaches had taught in the past. I'm obviously not going to divulge into the details of what he taught or how, because it is HIS product/program to teach. But I will say, that this program made me feel like a creep. And no, I was not uncomfortable in the sense that I have limiting beliefs; I was uncomfortable the way a lone woman in a subway would be next to a drooling man in a trench coat. I felt THAT creepy applying his methods.

When I left the program, I did not want to share this explicitly with Nick, for fear of offending somebody I did in fact grow to admire as a person. And divine intervention being what it is, I did unfortunately have an emergency family issue to deal with the very next day which prevented me from attending the rest of Nick's program. Had it not been for this, however, I still would have left the live training.

When I emailed Nick requesting a refund, I received NO response for over 2 weeks. I must have emailed, texted, called, and Facebook messaged countless times before I finally got a reply. He was apologetic in his delay, but was unwilling to offer me the refund he had guaranteed before the start of the program. I acknowledged in writing that I knew I was not going to receive the $500 deposit, but wished be refunded the rest of the amount ($2000) because I was unsatisfied. He responded by detailing what the "retail" value of the program would have been HAD I signed up to an individual night out. He first only agreed to refund me $250 as his show of good faith stating that he had not agreed to a refund and couldn't possibly refund me as I already took 1 days worth of the program. Then after further rebuttal on my end, he agreed to only refund me $750, stating that my reasons for being unsatisfied did not meet the requirements needed for him to refund me the $2000. In other words, the terms of the refund agreement changed twice during this back and forth of emails. As it stands today, I am still owed a refund of $1250. For anybody reading this, please note the guarantee offer in the description section of the product (full money back guarantee, with terms).

I have never, I repeat, I have NEVER, dealt with something as unprofessional as this in the dating coaching industry.

I have delayed in writing a review precisely because I was so upset and feared I may write things I did not mean. I am still upset, but I am taking action to resolve this issue.

Now I do recognize I am one isolated opinion, but I feel I wouldn't be doing other guys any justice by keeping this to myself, especially when all I see is rave reviews. I owe it to the community to provide an honest and balanced perspective. If you are completely inexperienced with talking to women, then YES, this program IS for you. However, if you are like me, then you would get more value for your money studying under coaches from RSD (Real Social Dynamics) or Tao of Badass. These two programs both cover and surpass what can be learned under Sparks.

Hopefully, nobody else experiences what I have had to go through over the past couple of months. I have been in distress over what's happened and only hope to reach a full resolution as soon as possible.

The difference was night and day, I previously attended bootcamps with 2 other companies but this training was on another level. The professionalism, the genuine care for each student, the relevance of the material, the follow up support, the practicality and ease of implementation and Nick’s obvious passion for what he does was all outstanding.

Even the initial pre-training phone coaching sessions and assignments had me arriving at the training all ready getting hugely improved results in my social interactions, it was that good!

The weekend itself was well structured, no unnecessary long explanations and lectures. Nick brought in coaching assistants who were all experts in their field and they contributed immensely. Each exercise was well thought out and had practical applications that we all immediately implemented that day/night. And you can bet we all got results!!

The other participants were all exceptional guys, a result of Nick’s rigorous screening process! I made some great new friends. The sense of camaraderie with the team and the alumni group has been beyond expectations.

I fully recommend anyone with a sincere desire to improve their social life and build genuine connection with people to attend this life altering event.

I think if you read the rest of Nick's testimonials you get a pretty accurate picture of the experience. I’m just gonna mention a few things that really stuck out for me.

1. You will find your sticking point
Whatever level you are at, you will find your sticking point. The thing that is stopping you from getting what you want, or stopping you from being your best. My sticking point (well one of them ) was escalation. I just didn’t know how or when to do it. Now I know that it’s a problem and I know what steps to take. Whatever level you are at you can always be better. Coaching will help you get past your sticking points and get what you want.

2. You will face your fears!
I was petrified of cold approaching girls. I was scared to death that they would shoot me down or ignore me. Well guess what! It happened!! I went in sheepishly and I got ignored. Too bad. I’ve still got two arms and legs. The world’s still turning! When I think back to all the approaches I made, most of them went pretty well. I got genuinely ignored once, and the rest turned into opportunities. Sure I’m still apprehensive of cold approaching, but there are ways of making it easier to approach people. And now I know what they are!

3. You will be a friend
The thing that stuck out the most for me was that when Nick talks about clients being friends, he genuinely mean it. In fact, it feels weird describing myself as a “client”. Clients are people I meet quarterly to explain why their fund has less money in it than 3 months ago. I know if I’m stuck on something I can just bang Nick an email and ask, in the same way you’d ask a mate if he’d downloaded any good tunes lately.

So cheers Nick for a savage weekend and an eye-opening experience!

One final point. There are no magic bullets. You gotta work at it and make this a subconscious habit. Every day is an opportunity to learn something and to improve. Do it.

I took a TSM bootcamp with Nick and the other coaches 30 days ago. I just got back home tonight with a few numbers from some cute girls and really, the important aspect here is that I took the action I was taught during the bootcamp to go up to these girls, talk with them and then eventually, go for the number. I’ll know later today which are legit/work out and which flake, but for now, I still consider the actions and boldness taken, up until the number exchange, as reflections of the bootcamp’s result. A changed mindset and an improved me. (sounds cheesy, but hey, most good things in life do!)


Thursday

When I got to the studio with my partner-in-crime for the weekend, we became acquainted with Nick and then went over the 6 steps of Fearless. It was all really useful and succinct – a bit different from the Fearless seminar in NYC in the winter, and additionally, the repetition was really helpful b/c of how essential these are to a guy’s pick up progress and success. We then broke until evening when we met at Jon’s place, had some mixed music goin on (Dave Mathews included of course) and we practiced what Nick taught us earlier, but now LIVE with some of the female instructors, Jodie and Marina. Yes, this felt really strange and awkward at first, like practicing a speech in front of a mirror…but then, it got better, we got better and looser, and in the end, I felt it really did help. So if you do a bootcamp in the future and get weirded out here, just go with it, haha. Just getting feedback and KNOWING what it FEELS LIKE when you’re loose and comfortable - and what it should feel like from a calibration standpoint – begins to alter your frame of reference. For me, throughout the weekend, one main objective was staying in the moment and just going with it, rather than being in my head. (Easier said than done, true, but definitely got better over the bootcamp.)

Later that night, we went out with Nick and Evan. The night was really fun and I must say, the bootcamp may be worth it just to experience Nick’s multiple “Spartacus-meets-Braveheart-worthy” inspiring speeches about our growth, our lives and women. Also, Nick kept us on our feet and always kept the party goin – no matter what the deal was at the bar! ☺ Got some convos and numbers in, and it was a really solid night.

Friday

We met up with Nick in the early afternoon and the best thing about walking in this time, was that the coaches and I already knew what my biggest hang ups were, including slowing down, pause…buffering (or as Adam calls it, “just shutting up” ☺), leaning back and some other things, which all connote neediness. I worked on those aspects essentially until the end of the bootcamp, though adding in some escalation tips and whatnot once we got those under our belts.

Friday night we had some more female coaching but now the TSM unpacked the big guns – we had 6 coaches come out with us, all of whom also helped criticize (constructively, of course) our approaches/interactions with the female coaches, and Jon was there for the commenting session too. This night was also a good learning experience, I got to feel a bit of the “pull back” and the girl’s chase Nick wanted me to really work on, and it was just a blast to be around Sunney, Danny, Nick, Adam, Jon and Brian. Oh, and just to mention, the coaches all stayed out past 2am, the official cut off time of the bootcamp every night, so I wanna give em props for their dedication ;) love you guys.

Saturday

You’d think by Saturday, the 4-5 hours of sleep a night would get to me…but it hadn’t. I just stayed pumped b/c the weekend wasn’t as daunting as it was inspiring and enjoyable. Today we went over escalation, with Nick leading and other coaches piping in with their own tips here and there. All of it came together really nicely and was incredibly informative. I mean, you can read some of this in the TSM programs, but there’s definitely some stuff you have to experience in person. For example, when Nick puts out all his mojo to “demonstrate” his sexual powers on you…all I’ll say is it’s super powerful lol. And also, of course, you get to ask them any and all q’s you have so that comes in handy.

Sat night was probably one of the loosest and more productive nights for me in terms of all the info coming together, working cohesively, as well as just the amount of risks I took. In retrospect, I potentially could have taken even more, but really, I’m proud of the progress I made and the amount of work, risks and rejections (1 half face slap…but she misunderstood/was drunk and it’s just funny story, honest :p…) I put in. Of course, all the coaches and the other guy on the program all helped me with that progress, so I thank all of them immensely for this weekend and their time :D

Sunday

This was brunch (with any q’s we had) + day game. Danny was great in helping us with the day game – kinda his thang – and really we had the opportunity to ask him anything we wanted. We did some exercises, some approaches, and some wrap-up talks about the weekend and our futures. Danny actually wouldn’t leave until WE were ready to throw in the towel for the day, going as long as we wanted. Alas, I had a prior-engagement with a friend in the early evening so I bid Danny and my “teammate” farewell and off I disappeared into the dark depths of the NYC subway system.


For anyone wondering, yes, I did get numbers and I did get a makeout over the weekend, and I could have taken things further, but I’m not talking about that because that is not what was most important to me from my expectations before the bootcamp. It’s also not what I felt were part of the most crucial breakthroughs during the bootcamp. TSM coaches know their stuff and can hook you up with girls if that’s what you want, but for me, I wanted to, as Nick might put it, be “taught how to fish rather than be given a bunch of fish.” And by fishing, I mean connecting with and dating high quality girls.

Awareness – I’ve definitely felt more awareness in the weeks since the bootcamp. I took the awareness factor for granted before the bootcamp. I thought I had a pretty good self-awareness and I could tell if a girl was interested in me or not. But truthfully, I have an infinitely better understanding now. For example, I was moving out of my dorm with my sister, and this cute girl walked into the elevator. She had earplugs in and I asked her if she’s moved out yet. She said she doesn’t live in the dorm, and I just didn’t feel like continuing the convo since I was with my sister and whatever, so I stop talking. Then she continued talking about moving out Freshman year (reinitiating convo) afterwards and I would not have understood before the bootcamp that clearly she liked me because of this action/continued convo even though I didn’t encourage it. Very powerful feeling to recognize small things like this immediately and know that I could have taken this to a date the next day if I wanted. Another example has to do with my friend and she revealed a lot of deeper info with me that night after the bootcamp ended on Sunday, and it was due mainly to the Fearless principles I implemented that night when we hung out – eye contact, mirroring, pulling back, deeper and more touching. Of course, Looseness too which is related to all of this. I feel like suddenly I have a lot more control over my relationships and new interactions than I did before and I really love the TSM guys and gals responsible for opening my eyes to this.

Nick, Jon, Sunny, Danny, Adam, Brian, Marina, Evan, and Jodie…thanks for making this an incredibly fun and lifechanging experience. You pointed me in the right direction and opened up a new road I now need to work my way down until I reach the end. I certainly feel more confident and aware of all the obstacles around me as I head down that path, and I wish everyone else reading this post as much enlightenment as I’ve received, and as much future success as I’m working towards. Or better yet, if you’re in NYC, hit me up and we’ll go have a baller time. Catch ya’ll later ☺

Nick is such a breath of fresh air for anyone who's spent any amount of time in "the community." I'd read his material online for years before ever meeting him in person and I was nervous about how it would go. I paid him what I considered to be a huge compliment when I said "you seem like just a normal, awesome dude." He does not seem like a PUA (nor is he) and instead just seems like an awesome guy you'd want to hang out with (and learn from).

His "method" (if it can be called that) is basically stripping away all the bullshit you've accumulated (from places like the community). He reconnects you with that part of yourself that is real, instead of just the thoughts in your head that derail you. It's for that reason that I put "ease of implementation" as a 3/10. To me, that 3/10 is way better than a 10/10. His work is hard. You can't just memorize some dumb pickup line. Memorizing a line is easy. Truly connecting with yourself and bringing that energy into your experiences with women, that's hard. Note that it is simple - there's not a long list of steps - but simple does not equal easy. You've got to be ready to be really you. Not in some cheesy self-help way, but in an authentic and masculine way.

Over the course of the weekend, one guy confronted the loss of his wife and his re-entry into the dating world. Another broke down into tears and emerged on the other side stronger and more confident for coming face to face with some old held beliefs. I became more comfortable - and even empowered - sharing some of my darker masculine energy with the world, in a respectful way that listens to my partner.

This is not like other material out there and it doesn't try to be. You've likely read the PUA stuff already. You've learned lines and techniques and gimmicky things to get women, but still you're here on this forum looking for more answers. Nick can help you strip away all that useless shit you've learned and reconnect with the awesome dance of a man and woman coming together, in whatever way feels good to them.

The path From Boy to Warrior

Before your clinic session you will have a phone call with Nick.

He was confident that if I trusted him and pushed myself that I would see results THAT weekend and that I would get this part of my life handled...

When I hung up the phone despite his convincing speech only one question rang through my head,

“Can my life really change in one weekend?”

There are emotions of gratitude welling in my chest as I write this. Because the answer is:

YES


About me:
I was never very good with girls

The only stint I had with girls was in third grade. All my friends were girls.I remember spinning around barefoot in the wet grass until we were so dizzy we’d fall. we’d lay there side by side with our hearts thumping and watch the clouds go by.

I am an artist introvert by nature raised by a sexually conservative jewish family. I remember distinct instances in my childhood where I was severely scolded by my parents by expressing my sexuality.

I have found that some of my friends with conservative catholic, jewish or indian upbringing have had the same frustrations and belief systems formed around women that had limited their success.

I had no luck in art school . NONE! I liked girls but I had a hard time finding those feelings because I was so ashamed of them I literally could not feel them or connect with them.

In years to come I approached many girls. I even took a couple bootcamps with other instructors and had very little success. I had always thought I was a kind and successful person in all areas of my life. I could not figure out why I could not get this part handled. I only had 1 serious relationship my whole life and it did not work because 1: it was handed to me and 2: we were so wrong for each other. I couldn’t go through such a bad break up again I wanted choice. but I couldn’t crack the code. I thought I was doomed to be this social retard forever.
I even started to prowl mail order bride sites.I gave myself a time cap, “if I can’t handle this by the time I’m 40 I will make Jiin-Fu my wife.”

This was all my world. This was all my reality. Until last weekend...

Why did Nick’s teachings work? Its simply because he is a fantastic teacher! The reason why I am so qualified to say this is because I’m also a teacher and teachers know good teaching.

Nick is focused on the doing instead of harping on and on about philosophy. He gives easy bite sized actionable steps that when you apply get results. His advice is so simple and focused its easy to follow. I always knew exactly what actions I had to take in order to get the result i wanted.

There is phenomena called the 80-20 principle or the Pareto Principle. In which 20% of your actions make up for 80% of your results. So in theory if you just focus on learning that 20% then 80% of your results are in the bag! Nick focuses on the social skills that matter and doesn’t overwhelm you with theory so that you get massive results a short period of time.

I can’t tell you how many times the words, “ I’ve never done that before in my life.” left my mouth. the past weekend.

A cute NYU student gave me her number in a book store.

I wrapped my arm several complete strangers in washington park within minutes.

I talked to EVERYONE at the bar and had girls eye rapeing me to go talk to them.

Once I find my rhythm in conversation I can’t get people to shut up. I have people trying to yell over each other passionately to tell me about themselves.

And the biggest breakthrough was on the instruction day “Sexy Saturday”. Just the anticipation of that name alone made my mouth parched at the thought of getting sexual...

This is something I thought was wrong all my life.I thought that thinking of a woman in a sexual way was ungentleman like, disrespectful, and shameful.

After that Saturday's session I walked right up to a group of girls and sat next to one I was interested in. Within minutes I was thinking of all the enjoyment Iv wanted to have with her. I let my imagination run wild. I wanted start at her neck with my lips and slowly kiss my way down to her hip bone. I wanted to trace her hip bone with my tongue and bring her panties to her feet with my teeth. Imagined my nails run down her back has her hair stood up on ends as she arched her back in pleasure.

I leaned in close slowed down my speech and I froze her with the intensity of my eyes.
She could feel the nature of my thoughts.
I thought I scared the shit out of her. She just looked at me silent with wide eyes.

So I left....

I found Nick for feedback I wanted to know where I fucked up.

I was deflated and explained to Nick the situation .Then She walked past me and pinched me on my arm.

it rocked my foundation...

This was my missing piece...


Which brings be back to that question, “ Can your life really change in one weekend?”


I always had this romanticized idea that the path from a boy to a warrior is when what previously made you terrified now gives you excitement. Here’s to that path and to anyone who is brave enough to join us in those ranks!

Thank you. So so much.

On my coaching weekend, I had the pleasure of meeting up in New York City with a handful of other awesome guys from different walks of life, some of which had flown halfway around the world to experience the Coaching Weekend with Nick Sparks. I can honestly say, it was hands down one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I know what it’s like going out, many a night, sometimes with success, often times, not quite achieving what I wanted and wondering what I was doing wrong and how to improve. Things had been “ok” for me with girls, but I wanted to be more than ok. I wanted to take steps to build the life I know I deserve. I had purchased some of the programs from TheSocialMan - Unbreakable, etc. – which are excellent building blocks, but frankly nothing compares to what you’ll experience in that weekend in New York.

I went there with an open mind and willingness to work hard, not really knowing what to expect. What I gained was invaluable knowledge of what my strengths and weakness are in this area – and more importantly how I’m going to improve and take it to the next level.

The weekend was a long one and we learned a ton a stuff- and it wasn’t like, memorize these lines and it will work out. This focuses on building a better man, someone who is unbreakable, fearless, and goes after what he wants because he has the passion and fire within him to seek it out and own it. We were taught key skillsets and gained an understanding of how to implement them by actually practicing with some amazing female coaches, that gave unbelievable feedback, from the all important female perspective.

That brings me to my next point about the weekend: the Coaches. I honestly can’t say enough about how awesome these people are and how much I sincerely appreciate their help. Nick, Fran, Cristina – cannot thank you enough for everything last weekend. The coaches are some of the best resources you will ever have – they will spend a ton of time and energy teaching you, understanding where you need to improve, and then showing you how to get there. In the classroom drills, they’ll identify exactly where the weaknesses are and then help you overcome them, and then offer guidance during the night out to make sure you conquer whatever hurdles are holding you back.

I’m not saying that I’m James Bond or Don Draper now, but I have a very deep sense of confidence in the knowledge that I’ve invested in myself to learn about this and taken some huge strides in the direction I want to take my life, to improve on this quest to get better with women over the course of that 4-day weekend.

If you’re thinking about doing this, I cannot encourage you enough to take this step- jump on the phone and talk to Nick or one of the other coaches. You owe it to yourself- build the life that you’ve dreamed of, that you deserve. Go out there and own this life and be killin’ it.

So I was not fully sold on the idea of PUS, but read some great things online and thought it was worth giving it a shot. The registration process was easy and having a conversation with Nick before registering made me feel more positive about the program. I was not sold on the program, but wanted to give it a shot. I am sold now!

The weekend helped me learn many things about about trying to understand women better and communication. Working closely with Nick in a small group really helps to build trust. Nick is brutally honest in his assessment and gives solutions on how to overcome. It is a great starting point to start improving social skills and highly recommend. The communication tips given are universal and should be applied to daily life. I have been using some of the techniques in my daily work life for the past few weeks and can tell a difference. I have noticeably done better with women over the last 2 weeks since the bootcamp.

The bootcamp is the first step in longterm strategy to improve social habits. Also, after the bootcamp I have Nick as a lifelong coach/friend to help me through any bumps. Nick is knowledgeable and truly seems committed to helping other. I would highly recommend Nick as a coach and had a overall positive weekend.

I was a little skeptical of Nick at first because he talked such a big game, but after being through the program I can tell you he's the real deal.

I think if anything my expectations were a little high for the experience. I was a little farther along my journey than some of the other guys there, but there was definitely a lot of useful stuff I learned. After being back in my regular life for some time now, I have noticed an improvement in both my interactions with and the quality of the girls I'm pursuing.

I would highly recommend this program for anyone who is struggling with that first hour of interacting with women.