Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships
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“Designer Relationships” aims to debunk widely accepted relationship myths and offer a new paradigm of mutuality, a collaborative mindset, empathy, and transparency.
The authors believe that society is in the middle of a second sexual revolution and therefore the very nature of the contemporary monogamous relationship is being challenged.
They offer a number of relationship structures outside the monogamous-nonmonogamous box in order to help others create partnerships based on individual circumstances, sexualities, understanding, and agreements.
For example:
- The preference to be monogamous
- Those who agree to be non-exclusive
- Multiple long-term partner configurations
- Those who bond emotionally, but not sexually
- Partnerships with an openness to exploring kink
- Happily single people with occasional lovers or friends with benefits
The book encourages people to choose the love life that is right for them, instead of adhering to society’s expectations. By doing so, they believe we can be happier, healthier, and able to create intimacy with a life-fulfilling partner or partners.
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If you have a question or problem, ask us:Table of Contents/ List of Topics Covered:
Chapter 1: What Is a Designer Relationship?
- The New Sexual Revolution
- Designer Relationships—a Field Guide
- Single by Choice
- Single and Polyamorous
- Asexual
- Nonsexual
- Monogamous by Choice
- Semiconsensual Nonmonogamy
- Open Relationships
- Monogamish
- Friends with Benefits
- Swinging, or Being “in the Lifestyle”
- Polyamory
- Swolly
- Polyfidelity
- Kink
Chapter 2: What Is Monogamy?
- True Monogamy and Social Monogamy
- Monogamy in Human History
- Monogamy Since 1960
- Monogamy Is Not a Monolith
- Four Types of Monogamy
- Sexual Monogamy
- Emotional Monogamy
- Social Monogamy
- Practical Monogamy
- Late-Modern Monogamy
- Twenty-First-Century Relationships: In Crisis?
- The Marriage Crisis from a Different Angle
- Natural or Not: Who Cares?
- Defensiveness, Commentary, and “Bashing”
- Who’s Afraid of Nonmonogamy?
Chapter 3: Mononormative Myths
- Myth #1: Romantic Love Is the Only Foundation for an Enduring Relationship
- Myth #2: You Need to Find a Soul Mate
- Myth #3: They Lived Happily Ever After
- Myth #4: Desiring Someone Else Is a Form of Infidelity
- Myth #5: Monogamy Is Natural, Evolutionarily Determined, Optimal, or Divinely Ordained
- Myth #6: There Is a Right Way to Be Sexual
Chapter 4: Misconceptions about Consensual Nonmonogamy
- Misconception #1: Consensual Nonmonogamy Threatens the Institution of Marriage
- Misconception #2: Consensually Nonmonogamous People Are at Higher Risk for Contracting STIs
- Misconception #3: People Who Choose to Be in Alternative Relationships Are Incapable of Intimacy
- Misconception #4: Cheating and Consensual Nonmonogamy Are Similar
- Misconception #5: Designer Relationships Perpetuate Male Dominance at the Expense of Women
- Misconception #6: Monogamy Is Better for Children
- Misconception #7: People in Nonmonogamous Relationships Have a Higher Rate of Separation and Divorce
- Misconception #8: The End of a Relationship Represents a “Failure”
Chapter 5: Relationship Skills for Everyone
- Know Yourself Sexually and Relationally
- Love Is Profound Interest
- View Every Relationship as a Co-creation
- Take Pleasure in Serving Each Other
- Connect First—Talk Later
- Intimacy Is a Balancing Act
- Don’t Confuse Privacy with Secrecy
- Trust
- Playing Games Does Not Build Trust
- Sexual Trust
- Keep Kindness as Your Touchstone
- Be Honest in Moderation
- Engage Empathically
- Compersion: Empathy on Steroids
- Be Flexible
- Create a Statement of Purpose
Chapter 6: For Couples and Others
- Sexual Adventuring to Bring You Closer
- Erotic Imagination, Fantasy, and Erotica
- More about Fantasy: Partnered and Solo
- From Behind Closed Doors to Out in the Open
- First Steps toward Opening Your Relationship
- Interacting with Others
- Dealing with Jealousy
- Jealousy and the Importance of Feeling Special
- Compersion and Jealousy
- Kink
- Sex, Aging, and Designer Relationships
Chapter 7: Ethical Considerations in Designer Relationships
- Safer Sex
- Make Your Safer Sex Decisions and Stick to Them
- Safer Sex—It’s Not Just for Kids
- Fluid Bonding
- Sexual Responsibility
- Mindfulness and Respect
What You Get:
Book options include:
- Kindle $12.69
- Paperback $12.84
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