Bullet-Proof Banter    Compare

If you have seen some of the products of David DeAngelo you may have heard him interview Brent or talk about how he was one of the main guys who he modeled the idea of cocky and funny on.

The focus of this course is on bantering, which basically means having fun, playful conversations. What Brent and Mitch stress is that they make it a point to banter with everyone they meet, not just women they are attracted to. The advantage of this is that it becomes who you are and not just a technique you employ to try to make women like you.

Interestingly, they provide a number of examples where they are bantering with people in everyday situations and end up being offered discounts, upgrades and event invitations amongst other things. They explain that the reason this works so well is that most people live pretty boring lives, and when you make a point of helping them have fun and being cool with them, they’ll often reward you. So the intent is to give value to other people, not to get something from them, although that is often what happens inadvertently.

It’s clear that Mitch and Brent both focus on having fun and amusing themselves. They come across as very lighthearted with a good positive energy and they don’t take anything too seriously. They have an abundance mentality in the sense that they know there are plenty of girls out there who will be attracted to them so they don’t get hung up on the outcome of any one interaction. This vibe is a big part of the reason that women find them so attractive.

Indifference Versus Caring

Brent has a saying he uses a lot, which is ‘Indifference is the difference that makes the difference’. What this means is that being unattached to any particular outcome is the key to success. It’s okay to want something but if you care too much about whether or not you get it you’ll suffer from stress and exhibit needy behavior. By being in the moment and accepting whatever may happen, things are much more likely to turn out the way you’d like them too.

This works only so long as you are still taking action. If you take indifference to the extent that you convince yourself you don’t care about getting any particular girl so you stop approaching girls altogether, this method will not likely work for you. As Brent and Mitch point out, being approached by a woman you’re attracted to is such a rare occurrence that if you rely on that as your key to meeting women you’ll never get anywhere.

So how do you apply indifference while still caring enough to keep yourself motivated? What you should be caring about is improving yourself by taking action and pushing your boundaries. Whatever comes about from any one interaction with a random girl is not important, but the fact that you initiated the interaction in the first place is what counts.

Brent talks about how you can have whatever you are willing to give up. It can be a hard concept to grab at first, but very powerful once you understand it and start to apply it. Sometimes the harder you chase something the more it will elude you. But if you take a step back and create enough space you’ll start to find that some of the things you want will start to come to you.

Abundance Mentality

In terms of women, most guys operate from the opposite belief – a scarcity mentality. So if they happen to meet a woman they will invest a lot because they are afraid of losing her, worried they might not meet another woman for some time. The problem is that when you have this belief, you give off this vibe to women that communicates that you don’t have any options and that you’re not successful with women. This is basically the opposite of confidence, and women will not be attracted to this type of guy.

When you start living the kind of social lifestyle that Brent and Mitch advocate, you’ll be meeting new women all the time. So instead of coming from a place of worrying about not being able to meet enough new women, you’ll realize that there are too many women that you’ll never have enough time to meet and date them all.

Calling Women Versus Giving Them Your Number

The basis for this stems from their personal experience and also what they want from their dating lives. With their lifestyle, they both tend to attract more casual relationships and are not focused on having a long term relationship. They also both used to apply more traditional dating advice such as getting numbers and taking girls out but found it felt too much work.

It was interesting to hear them talk about this, as their style is quite different but it is something that has evolved over time. Brent is renowned for being a natural with women, but he says this was not always the case. In the early days he went out a lot and tried many different techniques until he settled into the style that works for him now.

Part of what allows their technique to work so well is they live an incredibly social life and always make it a point to meet everyone when they go out. So in this sense, they don’t really need to take numbers from women as they have new women calling them all the time.

But for the average guy who is not at this level this can be tough to pull off. If you work a more traditional nine to five job and are not out at bars and clubs every night, you won’t be meeting as many women in party environments like Brent and Mitch do. You can experiment with giving your number out to women but it’s important to note that a lot of women won’t call you, unless they are really into you.

Many women will be too shy to pursue a man, and don’t want to feel like the sexual aggressor in the beginning. So you’ll have to accept the fact that you’ll ‘lose’ a few women who may have otherwise met up with you if you had taken their number and called them. The more you practice this and the more you apply the other ideas taught in this course, you should get more women calling you but it can be disheartening in the beginning when you thought a girl really liked you but she never calls.

Personally, I still take numbers from women and so do all of the guys I know who have success with women. But I know that what Brent and Mitch teach works very well for them, but their particular lifestyle may not be what everyone is after. As they admit here, they have spent years going out every single night meeting all the club owners, DJ’s, promoters, bouncers etc. so that they are hooked up wherever they go. I think for the average guy that just wants more options with women, this is overkill.

How To Banter With Everyone

The key to making banter work and talking about more risqué things is to have the right tonality and positive energy. If you come across as too serious or like you’re just reciting lines, it will seem weird or creepy. But Brent and Mitch are always pumping each other up throughout the day and bantering with each other to get the positivity and the fun flowing, such as creating their own words such as ‘mantastic’ and ‘asstacular’. It’s silly, but it’s fun and that’s all that matters for them.

I thought they could have gone into a bit more depth on how they banter with women and how a conversation might pan out. But they only focus on having really short interactions with everyone I don’t think they really have any proper conversations from what I gather. It’s more just about having fun, bantering, keeping everything light and upbeat and helping everyone have a good time.

There were some questions from students about how to handle personal questions from women, and the advice was pretty much just to keep bantering and turn the attention back on the woman. This is probably fine if you are talking to everyone for just a minute or two, but for guys who want to have actual conversations with girls this isn’t really going to cut it.

Just talking about your ass all night and making playful misinterpretations based on things she is saying can get old pretty quickly and is a bit one-dimensional. Brent does say that if a girl keeps insisting on knowing what you do for example, you can tell her honestly what you do but say that it’s kind of boring and isn’t it much more fun to talk about whatever particular thing you were bantering with her about. That's one strategy but I think talking about how to show other sides to your personality would have been helpful here.

But if you can really adopt the mindsets and attitudes that Brent and Mitch teach, you’ll get to the stage where you won’t need any actual lines or techniques. You can just be yourself and women will respond more powerfully to you and you’ll be able to just act from an intuitive place instead of thinking about each move that you should make.

Is this Product Right for you?

The people who will find this style of dating advice easiest to apply are those who enjoy being social and meeting lots of people. It mainly revolves around bars, clubs and parties, and hooking up with women from these environments. There are examples given of bantering with women in coffee shops, stores and on planes, but the style is very much high energy and having the 'party guy' kind of vibe. The more you feel comfortable around women already, the better this product will work for you.

If you are more focused on finding a girlfriend, or prefer meeting women out in the daytime in a low key kind of way, this style will be harder to adopt for you. Also if you have limited experience approaching and attracting women, you might want a program that gives you a more structured way to meet women until you get the confidence needed to make what's taught here work for you better.

The Bottom Line:

If you need conversational techniques and something more practical check out Secrets of 5 Minute Chemistry which will be better suited to your needs.